This excellent paper was the winner of the 2025 best paper award in the Project Management Journal as chosen by the editors and sub-editors of the Project Management Institute – Abolish, Accept, Apply: Coping with Ignorance in Project Ecologies. Video of the webinar is available here (PMI membership required) as presented by the author Jonas Soderland and Joachim Thiel. For those who do not have access, here is a summary… While the Sydney Opera House is an iconic building known to many as the symbol of Australia (other than the kangaroo), this building is also known as a planning disaster (the Australians are not shy about it). While the scope was met, the budget was exceeded (original budget was $7 million, final cost was $102 million) and schedule was overrun (original was 4 years, and actual completion took 14 years) with 10,000 construction workers (yikes!). According to most project managers, if the original sponsors knew what they had known, the Sydney Opera House probably would never have been built. Hypothesis: not knowing things can make things possible. Obviously, when issues happen, we have to reconcile to allow us to move on after experiencing major failures. There are 3 attempts on doing so from accepted literature on project management: There are 2 flaws though: one of which is ignorance where there is underspecification of the unknowns. Let’s face it, it is impossible to specify 100% of everything before we start. The other is how this applies in project ecologies which studies the interaction of projects. While the project is defined as temporary and independent with a start and finish. the reality is most of what we do probably has a effect on others. Let’s explore the two – ignorance and ecology. Notes on ignorance: Ignorance can therefore be an element of decision-making: with the 3 types of ignorance, we can then chose how to move forward with our project – abolish, accept or apply. Notes on project ecologies The author define the project ecologies to 3 types and created a framework based on failed projects. While the field (pretty much the entire population) want to abolish ignorance, the project team and the people who do it at career level is able to tolerate to a certain extent, some level of ignorance. Concluding thoughts The questions remains: Does ignorance produce miracles? We acknowledge that we should continue to probe, that it is good to understand. However, it is also correct that there are different types of ignorance and that tackling the unknowns depends on the type of ignorance. There is of course, a mismatch between what the general population thinks versus what is actually practiced. This is the essential role of professional experience, especially if there is a high cost removing the ignorance. One thing to note is that “miracles” do require some forgetting and unlearning. Final quote (an addition by yours truly)…. There is always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser or a Corillian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable planet. And the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT! Agent K – Men in Black
Marital Advice – Common Pitfalls of Marriage
Let’s be honest…when we first started our journey after saying “I do”, it was more that we are just going through the motions of the marriage ceremony than anything. Sure, we have found a great partner that we are willing to spend time together. But to put into practice the part where it says “for better or worse, through richer and poorer” is seriously easier said than done. By the grace of God and I say this intently that it is really the undeserved mercy from God, that allow us to be still happily married after all these years. We shall be celebrating our 25th anniversary (silver anniversary) in 2026, with 2 kids who still are talking to us and here is to the many more years to come. So I thought that it will be good that I spend some time going through some of the lessons experienced (good and bad) over the years and hopefully, guide couples as they begin and continue their lives together…. Here are some of the common pitfalls to avoid, and best practices for a strong lasting relationship… Top Pitfalls to Avoid 1. Communication: Why this is Important: Healthy communication is the backbone of a successful relationship Yes, as much as we don’t wish to admit it, couples fight. The couple who are lovey-dovey all the time fight. The couple who hold their hands everywhere they go, they fight. And the ones who are looking at each other with sexy eyes as though they are going straight home to bed…well, they fight too. The reason is that we are all humans with imperfections, we all have imperfect ideas, with imperfect thoughts. When we don’t agree with each other, well, it starts with a minor disagreement that could be a meagre as the color of the product we both wanted. This then escalates to a larger one and to a full-blown fight with zero communication for the next few days…yes, we have been through that. In some cases, we give in and let the other-half make the decision. In some others, we agree to disagree (that’s what they say in business). If you have not had a diagreement, well, just wait. There will be decisions on the kids, the house to get, the decoration, how the kitchen should look like, how big (and how much money) the man spends on the audio system, how much time he spends watching sports, etc. Despite how difficult it is to say “we need to talk”, we absolutely must talk things out and perhaps on some, live with the fact that one probably will not win all the time. I wish I could announce that we did not let the sun go down on our anger (we are trying to), but that did not happen. And that is OK because we eventually ironed out the issues and agree to move on. Difficult as it may be, we have to learn to confront the issues and discuss together until we have a resolution, perhaps after waiting a few hours after the fight to allow the fire some time to simmer down. But talk we must…. 2. Unrealistic expectations: Why this is Important: Marriage is about partnership and not perfection One that has us wondering are the extravagant spends – during major buys, and during birthdays and festive celebrations. Singapore is one of the most expensive places to live – high-priced cars, housing, etc. We have observed many who have bought private condominiums above $1.5M without the salary justifications, European-branded automobiles (such as Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz), bags/accessories from brands such as Cartier, Dior, LV, Prada or YSL, etc. While it is great to own such assets, we sometimes wonder if this is really necessary or if it is to meet ceratin expectations to show their friends and family that “we made it”. One topic I discussed with my other-half is on getting a car. As some people may know, cars in the tiny nation of Singapore is expensive – in addition to the price of the car, we have to buy a document called the Certificate of Entitlement (COE) that give us the right to buy the car. As of today, the COE is hovering around $110-130K (about US$85K to $100K). So the total cost of the initial purchase is close to $150K…not exactly chicken-feed. We talked and agreed that we should delay getting the car until it was really necessary (when the kids are born), and then we choose that is within our means rather than going straight for a BMW. Talking about emotional suppport, an unrealistic expectation is that the marriage will resolve all the issues. The reverse is sometimes more true, i.e. the marriage will cause even greater stress which will cause the outbursts to increase. While it is good to find a parter to rely on, the one thing that is worth repeating is that your partner is NOT your mother, and that life will NOT be perfect after the wedding and there is (sadly) NO SUCH THING as happily ever after. What marriage does offer, is that we have another to help us through the tough times. When issues appear — financial, career, health or mental — we can rely on another shoulder to lean on to help us through. If we work together, we will be able to get through because that’s what tough people do. 3. Neglecting emotional intimacy Why this is Important: emotional connections sustain long-term love This is the opposite of being tough. Sure, before the wedding, the guy is always seen to be the tough one and the one who will lead as head of the family, while the more submissive one is the lady. Well, time will tell if the following is really true. And with the way things are going, it’s anybody’s guess who the tough one really is. I have seen big guys break down mentally because of setbacks (health scares, business failures, unemployment due (multiple) company retrenchments), while the supposedly submissive wife takes over the family affairs. In order to
The Mental You – Avoiding Anxiety
In my previous post on stress, I have mentioned the “bad” part of mental health is made up stress and anxiety. This is the 2nd part of the curbing the bad, i.e. anxiety. I must confess – I have difficulty writing on anxiety. When I started the blog, the intention is that this is a place where I can offer suggestions on how to overcome from my own personal experience. Or that I write about how I have helped another person to get over it…none of this applies to this blog on anxiety. For anxiety: I have no solutions and I have zero experience on how to handle this. The only thing I can offer is to say that anxiety is not a uncommon as one might think. It will strike anybody (the most famous is probably of Simone Biles (the greatest of all time in women’s gymnastics) experiencing “the twisties” the Tokyo Olympics), and at anytime when we least expect. It will cause performance issues, and sleepless nights which may lead to other health issues. And we don’t really know how to get out of it… Let’s explore the path forward…nope, we cannot use the word “solutions” because they have not really worked well. We just hope that by practicing some of these, we may have a small window to open but that’s about it. It is obviously, easy to say “do this” or “do that” but when we ourselves are caught in a bind, all we can do is hope and pray that we can escape. Cognitive Behavior Therapy Before we even start to healing process, we have to first identify the items that leads to the anxious situation, which could be… After identifying the triggers, patterns and beliefs, then we shall use CBT tools and strategies to help. Tool #1: Cognitive Restructuring Tool #2: Behavioral Experiments Perhaps the fear scenario is not as bad as originally thought. If possible, we can test the situation in smaller, more controlled ways, before going for the full head-on approach. One example: if there is fear of being reprimanded in team meetings, we can prepare a short point before the meeting. Then at the meeting, we share the short point that we prepared earlier and observe what happens. The high likelihood is that it’s less “it’s the end of the world” than imagined. Tools #3: Sleep Hygiene and Thought Defusion To overcome anxiety, a good remedy is to have ample sleep so that the mind can be relaxed. The unfortunate part is that these are both intertwined — if one is anxious, it is difficult to sleep and because there is lack of sleep, the anxiety levels will increase. Rather than taking medication (melatonin may help for a while but cannot be a long-term solution), we can practise the following suggestions (to get to sleep): Create a routine for bedtime: no screentime (esp. no Tiktok nor IG), dim the lights (preferably lower intensity ones), play relaxing music, or do some light reading Use techniques such as thought journaling – set aside 15 minutes to pen down the worries/concerns/next-day tasks, and don’t let these thoughts intrude at night Practise progressive muscle relaxation: Practise box breathing: use a 4-step cycle breathing Tool # 4: Perform Anxiety Techniques Just like in any other projects, overcoming anxiety is a process. If the initial hurdle is too big, we have to break them into smaller, more manage-able tasks. And when we overcome (taking baby steps is perfectly fine), we take time to celebrate sucess. Practice visualization – when we do something, rejoice and say a word of gratitude, as though you have sucessfully overcome it. Practise self-compassion: we must remind ourselves that we are nto alone in this. Everyone struggles and mistakes do not define who we are. —————————————————————— Looking from the religious viewpoint, the Holy Bible has plenty to say and is filled with promises that speaks directly to our anxious hearts, offering peace, hope, and strength in the midst of life’s uncertainties. Throughout Scripture, God keeps on repeating in both the Old and the New Testament, that He sees you, He cares for you, and He has not forgotten you. 1. God is near to the brokenhearted The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit – Psalms 34:18 When anxiety makes us feel alone, remember that God is near and will save us, those that are in tears. his presence will be manifested when we call to him in time of trouble. He promises that when we seek him, we will find him, if we seek him with all our heart. In the book of Jeremiah, written when the Jews are in exile and when all hope is looking bleak, God reminded his people that He has a plan, a plan to prosper and not to harm, and plan to give hope and a future. 2. Cast your cares on Him Anxiety often comes because we have a burden that we were never meant to carry, It could be something beyond our means and beyond our ability and our strength. In this moment, God asks us to cast our cares on him. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you – 1 Peter 5:7 It is not just a good suggestion but a divine invitation to cast our cares upon him. God loves us deeply and he wants to exchange it with something that we can handle. Jesus asks us to go to him, all who are weary and heaby laden and he will give us rest. We are to take his yoke and learn of him, for his yoke is easy and his burden is light. 3. Peace that passes understanding In the midst of a VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous) environment, God offers a peace that is beyond logic. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will
The Mental You – Reducing Stress part 1
When we talk about mental health, there are 2 large factors that forms the majority of cases – stress and anxiety. We shall explore these and figure out the small achievable steps how we can best resolve these. These will form part of the project to becoming the better (mental) you. Stress (and how to curb/reduce/eliminate it) Despite the advances in medical technology, we have not gained a lot of advantage in our fight with stress. This continue to ravage our society such that we are seeing a increase of death cases due to suicide in people ages of 10-44, second only in cause of death after accidents. Definition of Stress By definition, stress is just a reaction of our body due to the unintended and unexpected change in our daily life. However, what we have observed is that the effects of stress is not just mere mental/psychological but becomes a contributor to higher blood pressure, ulcer and other undesirable diseases. In addition, the stress is adding to the already existing issues due to the rise of number of dysfunctional families, declining sense of community, erosion of trust in religious or political leaders. So stress is not just one thing but a combination of issues that we all face such as finance, loneliness, premarital/extramarital sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, natural disasters, etc. The good news is that despite all these, we have observed some who are able to manage stress effectively. Here are some good practices – do review if you fit any of the below and perhaps generate your own ideas to overcome stress. Reducing the Workload If we really take a stock of what we are doing in our daily lives, it’s probably correct that we are doing much more than we can handle: we wake up early in the morning to do breakfast, and quickly rush to bring our kids to school, before dropping our significant other to work and then we go to work which, in itself is a high intensity environment depending on what type of work we are doing. After work, we get back, bring our kids for swimming lesson/training and dinner. Then it is piano lessons and possibly extra tutoring lessons. We may bring our work home with us to complete that PowerPoint presentation due the next morning or 10pm meeting with our colleagues the opposite side of the world. Yes, we have too much to do! The only way to reduce the stress level before burning out, is to reduce the activity. Take stock and write down the one that are absolutely essential and remove the rest. You will have more time for yourself, and probably enjoy the break in between. Laughter is the Best Medicine When is the last time we laughed? It’s said that laughter is the best medicine and there are studies that laughter really have short and long term benefits. Short term benefits include stimulation of heart/lung function and also reduce stress levels, lowering blood pressure. Long term benefits are improved immune system. But when is the last time we really laugh, or are we too stressed out that all we could muster is a tiny smile? Well, if that’s you, perhaps it is time to change – go get a joke book, watch a comedy, buy tickets for a stand-up comedy show or just switch on Netflix and watch someone making jokes on life in general. Trust me…after that, you will learn to look at life in a different way and exit with a better mood. Taking Periodic Breaks It used to be that when there is a too much stress, the common comment is that “I need a vacation” and we go do it. These days, I must admit that this comment is very few and far in between. Stress is almost like a badge we wear with honor because it tells people that we are important and that we are needed. The odd thing is that the one who does not go on vacation are probably the ones who need it the most – when they do take a break, it is to the hospital. When they get better, it’s back to the grind and the entire cycle begin. Rather than being forced to take a vacation, we should schedule for a break say every few months or so. For those with school-going children, we likely have to plan this around the school holidays. For those with younger or older kids, there is greater flexibility so we can plan to visit countries during festivals; Sakura season in Japan, fall in the USA, summer at the beach, etc. And if we can do it with family or our significant other, then we get to take a break and build up on relationships. Setting Priorities In our jobs, we are often asked by management that when we are overloaded with tasks, we have to review and set priorities to focus on the critical few. Once we have successfully completed the top and 2nd priority (plus maybe 3rd), then we move on to the rest. Perhaps the problem is that our top priority is our job, and not ourselves. In our pursuit for a better life, we put in significant effort and time to do a good job, with the reward of having more jobs (and hopefully higher pay). Perhaps we should spent some time to re-think our personal priorities and see how the job is affecting our life, esp. if it hampers self-improvement. As we get move higher in the corporate ladder and with higher pay, we should also improve in other aspects as well – eat better, sleep better, exercise better, laugh more, take breaks more. And by doing so, we create an atmosphere that people around us will feel less stress because we are less stressed. In the long run, we will be happier. Limit (Negative) Media Consumption Nowhere in the history of mankind that we have something that both a boon and bane to
The Most Important – YOU
Let’s start talking about the most important person in your life….YOU. One of the best definitions of a human is described by none other than the Bible where it talks about it consisting of the body, soul and spirit. The 3 aspects are interconnected and yet distinctly different. They are also interdependent and influence each other to make up the full person. By focusing on the 3 things in our personal project, we then make it complete. So, how do we start? Obviously, if we wish to do a personal project, we should start by taking stock at our own life (objectively). Write down what you think is lacking or things that that we think we can improve. Then put that aside as we look what is considered the best practices. From there, we then make certain action items so that the items that we have written down previously can mimic those that are stated as best practice. One example is diet. Obviously, it will be near impossible to switch from our unhealthy food habits to one that is healthy in a single day…there is a correlation that healthy food probably does not taste as good versus healthier options. But we can change perhaps just the bread that we eat at breakfast from white to whole wheat, or we can reduce the number of Coke we drink. What is important is that we start. I really like the verse from the book of Zechariah that says “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin”. This verse encourages us to not be discouraged with the small little changes in whatever aspects we have chosen. But as we start with baby steps, and be persistent with minor improvements, we will eventually move toward a better future and do the seemingly impossible. I started my “getting to be a better me” journey in my 20s. Now that I am in my 50s, I am still trying out new things – the most recent being joining a Pilates class.
The Physical You – Diet
The most obvious, and people’s first impression of us is the physical aspect, i.e. how we look like. While dressing up (plus using makeup) is one way to look good, the focus here is health. Getting healthy may sound like a tall ask but in reality, this can be done if we can control just 3 items: diet, exercise and sleep. Diet is defined as what we eat. While there has been many types of diets that has been proposed and practiced over the last decades, the one diet that remains the mainstay of many in terms of health benefits is the Mediterranean diet which consist of the following: Some general tips for healthy eating are as follows Start the project by writing down at least 1 meal that you wish to start eating healthy. One example is to switch from white bread to whole wheat bread at breakfast. And perhaps resolve to eat at least 1 fruit each day (an apple is a good start…keeps the doctor away). Then as we get used to 1 change, then we add more to the list at the next week or the next month. Very important: If you have not gone for a health screening the last few years, please schedule for one immediately. Yes, it will cost some $ ranging from $50 and up to $500, depending on the services provided. This is important as some body-related issues may not be obvious at first glance. The health report will provide info on your body and contains measurement of body-mass index, blood pressure, cholesterol (HDL/LDL levels), blood sugar, and other markers. Depending on the result, you may need to have a consultation with a healthcare professional to discuss the next steps, esp. if the report detect some health issues that require changes in your lifestyle. Yes, this will be a major project if you need to be on long-term medication, or implement serious changes to the diet or exercise regime.
The Mental You – Reducing Stress part 3
Stress doesn’t vanish on its own—it builds quietly until it weighs us down. In this third part of The Mental You series, we explore practical ways to shift perspective, embrace mindfulness, and create daily habits that reduce tension while strengthening resilience.
The Mental You – Reducing Stress part 2
In a world filled with constant bad news and uncertainty, it’s easy to see life through murky lenses. But to truly reduce stress, we must shift our perspective—choosing positivity, resilience, and mindful practices that restore balance to our mental health.
The Mental You – Curbing the Bad
Whenever one mentions mental health, what comes to mind is mostly the bad stuff. So this is what we shall focus in this post but hopefully, I can put a positive spin on it. Rather than seeing it as just gloom and doom with no chance of getting out of the pit, we can view it as improvement needed. We will take small steps to tackle the change one step at a time. Start with Small Steps In my previous post on improving our diet, I talked about starting off with just changing the breakfast loaf from white to wholewheat or adding an apple a day. Then as we feel that we can change more stuff after seeing the small improvement, we make another small change and so on. For mental health, we shall attempt to do the same and make it into a project that is specific and attainable. Preventive Action – Take a short Pause Before going into problem solving, perhaps a more important task is preventing the issue from happening in the first place. I suspect that many of us have been in that place where we make the comment, “How I wish I did not do that….” Impulsive behavior is not easy to handle, especially since it may be related to our personality. We do it at the spur of the moment, when we are driving and someone cuts into our lane, when we are talking and someone suddenly interrupts us, when we are focusing on an activity and a person suddenly disrupts our concentration. It get worse if we have been thru a long day and our brains are just roasted. Frankly, there is no good way to go about doing this except to acknowledge that these disruptions exist and is perfectly normal. Start with admitting that these things will happen, and the person doing it to us is doing it unintentionally and bears no malice to anybody. One way is to take a deep breath and perhaps count 1 to 10 before making any sudden moves. Sounds simple but taking action is another thing. Just need to remember that the few seconds pause will help make difference between “just another normal day” and something that we will regret for the rest of our lives. Next post: a major contributors to the bad – Stress
The Mental You
The physical part to become the better YOU is in fact, the easiest because it involves doing something. That mean we just have to get off our butts and as what Nike says, “Just do it”. Of course, it does involves some discipline to get started, especially if one decides to wake up at 6am for the walk or going to the gym and sign up for the group exercise class. But generally, the most difficult part is getting started and keeping at it for 2-3 sessions. Once we get going, the feeling is often good enough that we would the forget about the initial struggles and want to continue the sessions. For those who are reading this post for the first time, here is a recap: Once we have taken care of our body — or started our journey to become a better physical version of ourself — the next big elephant in the room is the soul or the mental YOU. While the subject of psychiatry has been talked about since the 1800s, it mostly is something we associate with people with mental illness, those who are schizophrenic or people dealing with hallucinations. It is only in recent decades that mental health became a big thing when people start to realize how important, if not more important, than the state of our physical being. We can be strong and healthy, but if we are mentally weak, this will hamper our growth. On the flipside, the ones who are mentally strong (but not the strongest physically) will eventually gain success in their chosen fields. So, what does it mean to be mentally strong or healthy? Type the question in AI, and one will typically the the answers as the ability to do the following If you view mental health as a whole, it is divided into 2 major themes: The problem is that whenever we think of our mental health, the first things that come to our mind is the bad stuff, i.e. stress, depression and suicidal thoughts. While it is important to work on getting the support to overcome these, once this is done, the next step (and we MUST move to the next step) is to then switch our focus to only “Think of the Good Stuff”. That way, the door is shuttered to the bad stuff…no going back! I know a manager who set a day in the week that he called “Good News Friday”. On 4 days of the week, he allows his team to complain and wallow in the sad state of their projects. But on Good News Friday, the team will only talk about accomplishments, successes, and take pictures where everyone is smiling. Yes, we should all have our Good News day. If you are ready to explore the mental YOU, please click on the links below: